i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I have fence marks all over my body
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize