Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
