well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
