It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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