you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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