so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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