Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
