maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
