this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
