everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
