With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
