Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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