do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
