And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
