The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
