Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
