bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
