My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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