if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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