So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
