Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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