Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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