That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
