You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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