i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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