If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
