I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
