sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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