PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
