her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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