What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
