do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
