I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
