I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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