yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
