I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
