I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
