Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
