He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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