there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
