Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
