Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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