You're my little dorito
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
