The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
