You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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