saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
