What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
