I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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