Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
