I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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