I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think your dad took our porno
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
